For the longest time (especially in my early teens and 20s), I thought putting myself first was selfish.
Like, if I wasn’t constantly bending over backward for people or always available when someone needed me, I was somehow a bad friend, daughter, or just not doing enough.
But over the years (and a few burnt-out breakdowns later), I realized that prioritizing myself isn’t selfish…it’s necessary.
If you’re wondering how to start prioritizing yourself without feeling weird about it, I’ve got you covered.
These six changes helped me reclaim my time, energy, and peace. Hopefully, they’ll do the same for you.
What does prioritizing yourself actually mean?
Before getting into it, I want to clear a few things up.
Prioritizing yourself doesn’t mean ignoring everyone else or acting like the world revolves around you.
Instead, it means recognizing that you deserve your own time and energy, too.
You know how we’re always pouring into others, solving their problems, being there 24/7? Yeah, this is about learning to do that for yourself, unapologetically.
It’s about making room in your day (and your life) for your needs, goals, health, rest, and happiness.
You matter just as much as everyone else, sometimes more if you’ve been putting yourself last for a while.
1. Start saying no without explaining yourself
This was probably the hardest and most freeing shift I made.
I used to feel like every “no” needed a long backstory or excuse.
I’d over-explain, apologize, and sometimes even backtrack on boundaries because I didn’t want to disappoint people.
But I realized that “no” is a complete sentence, and I needed to stop people pleasing.
Not in a rude or cold way, but in a self-respecting, healthy-boundaries kind of way.
Once I started trusting that I didn’t owe anyone an explanation for doing what was best for me, I felt more empowered and in control of my time.
And spoiler: the people who truly love and respect you won’t make you feel bad for choosing yourself.
2. Treat your needs like they’re just as important as everyone else’s
I used to never miss a meeting or a dinner date with a friend, but somehow I’d cancel on myself all the time.
Workout plans? Skipped. Journaling time? Moved. Bedtime routine? What routine?
One day, I asked myself why I respected everyone else’s time more than mine.
So, I started treating my needs like scheduled events… like they were important (because they are).
I created a time-blocking schedule to stretch, cook a real meal, or do nothing.
And you best believe I showed up for it.
The shift was simple but so so powerful. It reminded me that my peace and well-being are worth protecting.
3. Stop tying your worth to how productive you are
This one hit deep.
I grew up believing that the more I did, the more I mattered.
If I weren’t busy, I would feel lazy.
But living like that just kept me in a constant state of exhaustion.
So I started asking myself what rest looked like if I didn’t feel guilty about it.
I let myself nap in the middle of the day sometimes.
I let myself take weekends to do nothing “useful.”
Heck, I even let myself not write that darn blog post and just let writer’s block take the lead.
And guess what? The world didn’t fall apart.
Learning how to start prioritizing yourself often means unlearning all the rules that say you have to earn rest.
You don’t.
You are enough as you are, even when you’re not doing anything.
4. Pay attention to what drains your energy
Ever hang out with someone or do something and just feel off afterward?
Like, your energy is totally zapped?
I started noticing those patterns in my life with certain people, places, beliefs, and even habits that left me feeling depleted instead of fulfilled.
The more I paid attention, the easier it became to choose differently.
Sometimes, that looked like limiting time with certain people, letting go of outdated beliefs, or saying no to events that I knew would leave me overwhelmed.
Sometimes it meant letting go of habits that felt more like a burden than a pleasure.
Tuning into my own energy gave me a better sense of what actually supported me and what didn’t.
It’s one of the most underrated ways to start honoring yourself.
5. Make space for joy on purpose
There was a time when joy felt like a luxury I didn’t have time for.
But choosing joy, even small pockets of it, has been one of the best ways I’ve stayed grounded.
Whether it was listening to my favorite playlist while making breakfast, lighting a candle during a slow evening, or taking silly photos of my food just because, I leaned into the little things that made me feel alive.
Prioritizing yourself doesn’t always have to look like deep healing or major boundaries.
Sometimes it’s just allowing yourself to feel good without needing a reason.
6. Give yourself permission to change
One of the biggest mindset shifts was giving myself permission to grow and evolve.
For a long time, I felt stuck in certain roles or belief systems because I thought people expected me to be a certain way.
The “reliable one.” The “helper.” ‘The believer”. The “always-there friend.”
But just because something used to work for me doesn’t mean it still has to.
Prioritizing myself meant letting go of old versions of me rooted in overgiving, overdoing, and overthinking.
And it also meant embracing new ways of thinking and showing up…. ways that felt more aligned with who I am now.
Learning how to start prioritizing yourself is a process, not a switch you flip overnight.
But each small choice, each quiet “no,” each intentional pause, each moment of joy, is a step toward a life that feels more like yours.
And that’s something worth choosing every single time.
